Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The day I discovered I was different....

Realizing you aren't like other girls is a shock, and it usually occurs at the most formidable time in our lives. For me, it happened in the 8th grade. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "you're still pining over something that happened in your life over a decade ago?" Well, yes. 

It's not like I've not grown and matured since then, it's just, that was a traumatic experience.  

Anyway, back to my story. It wasn't until 8th grade that I truly understood what it meant to be different. During the summer between my 7th and 8th grade years I "developed." And by developed, I mean, I really really developed. I went from a 32 A to almost a 34 D in what seemed like a matter of days. Imagine your own awkward self in middle school and now imagine yourself with these huge breasts you hadn't really gotten the chance to introduce yourself to yet. That was me starting 8th grade. Of course, the boys loved me, the girls hated me, and I had no idea who I was looking at in the mirror anymore. Of course, it was only a matter of time before the rest of my curves started to follow in the shadow of my boobs. By the end of that year I had hips, curves, and the figure of an adult. While all the other girls were waiting to catch up with their Kate Moss waif like figures, I was Kim Kardashian. And I hated it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I was ROCKING those curves. But for an 8th grader, I didn't want to look differently. I wanted to shop at Abercrombie and not have to go two sizes up in the waist to accommodate my hips. I wanted to go to Vicky Secrets and not have to go to the bottom drawer for my bras. I wanted to look the same. 

They always say hindsight is 20/20. And if you ever heard the phrase "I wish I was a skinny now as when I thought I was fat before" you'll know how I feel. I hated my body at the time (I'm still working on the entire, love your curves stuff) but I was a size 3!! A size 3! Really? Someone please go back in time and tell my 8th grade self that an hourglass, curvy, rocking size three is like the epitome of perfect. I was dumb. 

Anyway, to make a long story short, we all go through changes in life. And for women, it seems our body changes with a kind of its own. We don't always have control over how it looks or what it does, but we do have control over how we think about it. I wish I could change how I felt about myself back then, but I can't. But what I can change is how I feel about myself now. 

Nothing is more true now than this, "be the change you wish to see in the world." If we don't stand up for our rights to look like a woman, then who will. Society is trying to constantly mold young women into thinking it's wrong to look the way nature intended. Don't let that happen. Don't let other 8th grade girls be ashamed because they developed sooner than others. Let them know they're beautiful. 


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